feeling terribly down now.

i just wanted you to cheer me up. but than you didnt managed to. yet you made me felt worst. you told me sth that im most afraid to hear. now, face the truth? hahs.

uhuh, went out with bestie today.27thfeb ((: it was all last minute.

hmm, bestie lied. we planned to watch movie but than he insisted that he'll definitely slp in the theatre so we ended up shopping, lols, but than, it was fun larr. i shall say, bestie's taste is kinda weird, er mayb i shld phrase it in a better manner, it's unique. LOL.

didnt really buy anything larr, but than i think bestie's got a hole in his pocket. HAHS. finally i got my long awaited bear! ((: *biggrins! and i made him do sth that he had nvr did long. HAHS! ((:

dine at tonkichi, met up with jon, and headed down to huat's place to suprise her! lols (: uhh, i think her dog hates me, but he likes cheefun. lols. sad, ):

that's bout all for today, i had lots and lots of fun. ((: THANKS BESTIE! YOU MADE MY DAY!

the bear! ((:


i only rmbed to take the pic of the dessert. (x uhh, it's bitter.


bestie givin batman a massage. LOL. (x

uhh, bestie called me a bitch, wtf.
uh it's okay, bitch's bestie shld be a bastard. ((:

hmm, i did sth so outta my mind todayy. gaaaaaas, thinkin of it makes me blush. ((((((:

uhhh, gotta work ltr. im toooo tired to move. )x i've been like sleepin at 3 or 4 for the past few nights. gosh, im dead beat. )x

girlfriends came over for steamboat ytd, and i tell you, huat was so hilarious that i could laugh my head off can. lols, she's like, uhh, duno wat to say larr. lols. than bestie came. that idiot, really brainless larr, he needs me to fetch him in, and yet he called me only at the moment when he reach my house bus stop, idiot. caused me to fall down and hurt my leg. )x stupid wawa, you owe me one.

and than yea, lols, we started gambling, with my mum, -.-ll. uhh, i won abit laa, hahs. and yea, that's bout all for ytd. (:

till than i realised, how much i needed you. <3
i dont wanna fall badly again, so now, i'll just climb a step at a time, instead of two.

really really, i swear i'm gonna skin bestie alive. serious. that asshole. cheat my feelings! f sia. ))))x

UH, it's chinese new year. (: wishes to everyone.

still not feeling good these few days, and still wondering why. )x uh huh, met bestie ytd and passed him some goodies before i headed down for reunion dinner. seriously la, i dont see any difference in his hair, when he insisted that he high-lighted red, uh, SORRY. lols.

oh, trust me, that dinner sucked big time alright, just thinking of it pisses me off.

usual routine today, visiting and yeah, boring. went out and had a walk with cousins.BUT, totally no place to walk can? uh, that's wat i dont like bout CNY.

ah, all that thots are coming back again. oh damn.
sometimes if you think bout it carefully, it's just too true.

FCUK

LOL, hahas, wat a joke, wtf.

uhh, didnt feel like blogging a proper entry the past few days, totally not in that fcukin mood, thou today aint any better, but i just have the feeling to blog.

uhh, i like working in the morning somehow. (: lols. hmm, went out with my cousins today, and i mean, ALL. hahas, and i got 2 more tees, adding on to my outfitters collections. uh huh. ((: lols.

i was soo high half way thru, but in the end, no more. UHH, i didnt get to see him in the end. uh uh. )x mayb mayb, chu yi or chu er. s:

although it wasnt much, but that lil move make me feel safer, and that i'm still cared of and still wanted. ((: just that few secs, it made my day. i cant stop grinning when i think of that. <3

tell me, what do you mean by what you've said? end everything?

hahs, nth much to blog about today. off. (:
oh damn, lets just pray and hope that by tml morning when i wake up after a night's slp, that Interior Design thing in me will be gone, say goodbye and forever. )x ah, it's hard to decide man.

went granny's hse and asked for my cousin's advise. somehow it calmed me down and cleared my view. after all, interior design might be fun and enjoyable, but it might not suit me.l et me just complete my cousin's initial plan, and let him accomplish mine. ((: hahas.

im gonna submit the JAE form tml. (: nobody decides our future. it's us. i know where i wanna go and i wont regret, ((: yea man.

LOL, tell me, how many tomorrowS are there? endless. i've alr heard so many, 'ps, tml can?' oh, sick.

(x hmm, work is getting better and better. yea, slowly bahh.
but i've met this baddie. )x

UH, damn la. i still dunno where to go. seriously laa, im so confused. future, or interest? tourism or interior? i need some advice uhhh, damn it. but i know, i'll get it all done by tml, i have to. i dun wanna drag anymore. the more i drag, the more indecisive i'll get.

most prob, it'll be tourism i guess. =x

i had a dream last night and somehow it made me come to my senses. hahas.

for the start, 2 yrs ago, he treated me so nice, it all started with courtesy. and slowly we grew closer and i grew dependent on him.. we shared a lil secrets and slowly more and more, and till now, almost everything. best friends, this is wat i call us. no bounderies, no manners, no politeness between us anymore. there were fun times and nice long talks. but slowly, i started to realise something, mayb i should call it, one-sided.

i was so into our friendship but in the end, i found out there's something not right. most of the thing's comes after our friendship to me, but to him, it was just, ya, a total opposite.somehow down the road, i've realised it and i tot i was just thinking too much again. i lied to myself, ever since than, again and again.

but the thing is he just give in to me sosssss much and it's like i just grew more and more dependent on him. and now, almost cant even get off him. and that, make me sound so desperate in our friendship. to me, i'll just feel so uneasy if i dont get to talk to him for one day, but who knows mayb to him, 1week wont make much difference. i dunno how to say, but this is just hurting me deeply.

i dont wan our friendship to come to an end, but than, wat used to bring joy, now became a drag. smiles were replaced be tears due to all the unecessary arguments. everytime, the more i try to bring us together, the further apart we go. maybe i shall call for halt. stop here for the time being. tried of making him and myself upset.

i should start to loosen my grip, but i know, there's a point where i'll grab it tight again,losing all the unhappiness and tears, and bringing with all the smiles and laughters again. (((:

kept me waiting and waiting but never did he come. should i continue to wait? or just stand up and walk away?

AHHH! :DDDDDDDDDDDD IM SOOOOOOO HAPPY WITH MY RESULTS!

hahs, i'm sure i am. L1R5, 13. L1B4, 10. gees. i didnt disappoint myself, neither did i disappoint anyone else. (: gees, oh well, i just cant stop crying like wat my mum said. lols, i cried when i got my results cause i cant believe it. hahas, sounds dumb. lols.

uhh, THANKS DANIEL! I GOT AN A2 FOR AMATHS! ALL THE CREDIT GOES TO YOU! hmm, and also our beloved mr owyong laa. ((: lols.

hm, i shall skip the working part today. dont feel like blogging bout it.

pardon me, im just over the moon. ((:

(((((((((((((: IM SOOO RELIEVED. GEES.

went spa and arcade with aisyah today. wooo, the massage was really nice and relaxing. (: gees, and arcade was fun laa. hahas. i wanna go again, again! ((:

oh damn, less than one day to getting the reusults. ahhh, there's like so many so many butterflies fluttering in my tummy now. cant even sit still. how to sleep well tonight? argh, someone pls calm me down.. )x

uh, it has been so long since i last talked to pong. ((: nth much diff from the past. nice nice. miss him sooo much. ((:

i'm truly, deeply sorry. can you forgive me pls?
i know im wrong but dont ignore me pls. ):

(: its so nice talking to him. i've thought that i can talk lidat with him. not comfort, but the jokes keep me going, keep me entertained. it'll just let me put all my troubles aside for the time being. ah, i feel so relaxed. (:

finally, i managed to get myself a pair of heels today. ((: im so delighted, duno why also. hahs.

hmm, the day is drawing nearer and nearer. just thinking of it makes my heart beat so fast that it felt as if it'll stop. friday, the results will be out. i have no idea whether is it that im lack of confidence or wat. im just scare. ah, duno wat laa. nothing can calm me down when i start thinking of it. damn laa. ))))x

smile like you mean it. no use faking a smile and act as the best man on earth. cause in the end, you yourself knows very clearly that you are not. one day, someone, somthing will expose your true colours.

i've no idea why guys will nvr keep their promises. every single one of them. hahs, mayb they are just borned with a mentality that girls are for them to tell lies to, isnt it? hahas.

i swear, i'll nvr believe wat a guy said again. no promises, never.

hahs, didnt blog ytd cus i was f-ing pissed. no one ever did that to me, and it f-ing hell pissed me off my ass.

at first i thot a lil swing will swing all my troubles and anger off. who know it all became worst. HAHS, wat a joke. nobody know's how freaking bad ytd was. nothing went right, and everything goes wrong. wasted my effort, my trip. i could have stayed at home and sleep my way thru, seriously, it could help more.
it felt worst, when you are feeling so bad and none of them came to comfort you. and the one who's wrong, didnt even bothered to apologised.
hahs. it was much better today. ((: home sweet home. and its really mice to have someone who brighten up your day. *sweets. thnks! ((((:

you make me so bloody hell worried and in the end you didnt reply me cause you were playing. hahas, i made myself a fool again. cant believe im so damn stupid, worrying that you might be still sick and yet having to work overtime. hahs, stupid, idiotic me.

whole day of shopping today. something different, i went with my family today.(: got a pair of jeans and a top. than, a pair of shoes(a tough task) and some accessories and im done with my new year shopping! (: hahs. hmm, im gonna get myself lots and lots of earrings. yea yea. ((x

visited granny also, considering that i've not visited her for a long time ever since i started working which was alr 2 months. she's still the same, with that smile on her face, just that her body is getting weaker and weaker. ):

it seems like we are so near, but yet its so hard for us to get together. ):

sometimes i really feel bad bout treating him that way, saying all those things to upset him. but than, somehow i just cant stop doing it. im trying hard not to, and i hope i can.

so here, if you are reading this, im saying a sorry in advance for watever nonsense i'll say in the future, which i hope i wont come up with any.

shopped around for the past few days.. hahs, spent quite alot ehh. went vivo with drey and col today(3rd feb), and yup. some tops caught my attention, but i only brought one home. ): lols, nvm, more shopping tml.((: since i'll be sooo free, till fri i guess? LOL. but i think results will be out, real soon. till than, let me just pray and enjoy at the same time, god bless.(:

oh ya oh ya, there's this shop at vivo, its really damn damn cute can. i'll definitely get something from there when i ge my next pay. i dont care if its costly, i've got to pamper myself ehh. ((: